Prayer

Dear god,

Please give me the strength I need to feel better.

Please make me believe and go back to the happy and genuine and confident person I once was.

Please help me get through this.

I really need you to give me strength to hold on to faith, that I will find someone better and I deserve to be happy.

I would like to thank you also, for these things to happen timely.

If I must encounter someone hurtful to me in my life, I would rather experience it now, so that when I am exposed to new things at school I can quickly forget.

I also would like to thank you for making me realize how lucky I am to be able to share this painful experience with the family and friends who have been there for me. It could have been totally traumatic and heartbreaking but I am lucky to have my support system here with me, so I do not fall into the depressive stAte as last time.

I also would like to thank you for the second meeting I had with him which made me realize that it IS totally over and to help me give up hope. If it wasn't for that meeting I would still have dreams in my head thinking he's suffering from the breakup as much as I did and is actually a confused person who I can perhaps change and be with one day down the road. I realized that I was totally wrong. Yes everything he said that night hurt me deeply. But if it wasn't for those hurtful words I would not be ale to knock myself out of this situation.

And thank you for that phone call today. It's made me realize that he is still as selfish as I had thought him to be, having the nerves to ask me for recommendations and as a reference for his job hunt. He doesn't deserve my sincerity and help. And for him to think he can ask someone he's hurt deeply to do him this favor, once again shows how selfish he is as a person, who never once reflected. It's made me stop crying, and I think I've shed enough.

I want to continue to pray to you for the strength which I lack. I know I have doubted myself and you so many times because st times there really seems like there is little hope in life. The social pressure I feel and maybe the heartbreak is making it hard for me to see and feel. And reach out like I aways do. I have become numb and insensitive and selfish to the people around me. And I say cruel things and I only focus on my pain. I hate that about myself. And I want to break away from it.

Can you please teach me to be kind and hopeful again? Can you hold my hand through this? Can you help me realize how wonderful I am as a person again and stop worrying about trivial things in life like marriage, getting old, fitting in, career, and start focusing on getting better and being a better person and being happy for myself and everyone around me?

I am scared. There are so many uncertainty in life. I don't want to fear my fears anymore. But how can I accomplish that?

I really need you to help me let go and move on. Please god if you can offer me your hand and help me find the strength that's in me.

Please can oh also help me forgive, if you think that is the best way for me to move forward, for I have so much hate in my heart.

Can ou also help me forget. I want to forget about the good times and I want to forget the pain so that I can be trustful again.

Please help me god.