Helpful advice from my sister K

You have to forgive yourself.. Everybody runs into assholes and liars. It's not your fault. People with ulterior motives will come to you because they think you're pretty now and want to draw a bubble of the happy life you could have with each other. You can't let that get into your head. You are just a late bloomer. Pretty girls don't take that seriously because they are constantly surrounded by shady people who tell us that all the time. You spent the majority of your time studying really hard, and you're just starting to dress and look nice, you will run into more of these people. It's not your fault for believing this person because its your first encounter with such assholes. He put on a front. he made you beliece that he is courteous, different, sensitive to your needs, and brave enough to pursue you. Anyone would fall for that. You shouldnt feel like because your smart youre exempt from

his tricks somehow. You should feel lucky that, while most of us believe there are only shady people out there, you have been surrounded people who really love you and who you trust, who will never betray you, who created a safe environment for you. That's why you thought he was one of them when he's not. It's not your fault. 

Yes I understand its hard for you because while most of us maybe grew up having maternal instincts and wanting to be married since a little girl, that was not part of your life plan until this guy put the thoughts in your head a month before you turned 30, then burst that bubble on the day you turned 30. It sends you into a complete panic attack. Because you never had that dream, and then someone created it for you then ripped it apart. Your childhood memories were recalled, you may think you only want an Asian or TW husband now who can support you emotionally and also conveniently takes care of your parents, but what you're doing is closing the door on so many people. No one can have everything in life. You may run into someone who really loves you who's French, but who will treat you really well and love you with all his heart. You can't turn that person down because he doesn't fit your bubble. There should never be a bubble to begin with. You need to also realize that there may never be a person for you. But if you have no bubble, you will not be disappointed or make that person who only fits 60% of your criteria into your bubble, because he is not the one. 

I'm not saying you need to either that you need to wish death upon your ex, or be the bigger person and make them all your friends. There is some place in between. You treat them like a passerby on the street. You don't get jealous over their love life or get angry, you don't warm up to them in particular. You just don't care. I know that's hard but that's where you need to be. You don't want your mood to be influenced by these people.