Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A year in.....Asia?

I just realized that from the last time i logged on to Blogger to this time, the layout of the website actually changed?! Now my internet browser (which desperately needs to be updated) doesn't even support this version of Blogger anymore!! so all of the dialogue boxes are sort of in different places. I am crossing my fingers that this post won't actually get deleted when i hit 'publish'... And i just realized that because i have been so horrible at keeping my page up to date, i had already moved out of the 'Garden State' for about a year now, and i still haven't changed the name of my blog?! such blasphemy! I was going through the choices in my head...China, Taiwan, Asia, Back to the Beginning...ugh it's hard to be original. But yes perhaps i am moving a little too fast and that's not good for my mental being in many ways. :P Anyway, the reason why i'm on my old computer today (and hence updating my blog) is because yesterday something REALLY bizarre happened. in almost same altitude as the life changing decision of moving back last year. I was doing my usual business at work, going through a ton of emails and getting ready for congress abstract submissions and just basically buried knee deep in paper work, when all of a sudden i received a call (from the caller ID i could tell it came from China). I didn't hesitate at all, thinking it must be one of my co-workers, and answered my phone. And then the person asked politely to verify my identification. It turned out that, he was calling from a head hunting agency! I guess it was not a big deal, seeing probably many other people receive these calls. I was probably secretly excited that i did receive a head hunting call. BUT, the bizarre thing was, i NEVER posted my cell number on any search engine HERE, and by here i mean the general region of APAC. NO ONE except the people who i work directly with should have access to THIS NUMBER. and this is all because i was sort of 'transplated' from my old job in the US to HERE. So i didn't go through those job search websites. And then this guy went on explaining the position he was calling about. He knew quite a bit about me as well. He knew i lived and worked in the US. he knew that i worked for this particular company. He knew that i am trained in publications...etc. So i was very amused and he went on explaining about the position. that's where my head started spinning. Basically, it sounds like something that i could probably kill for at this moment. I would be able to have more autonomy in what i do, and have a real promotion (which i have actually been thinking about, for reasons which i will explain in a minute). It was too good to be true...except..i couldn't be based HERE. i would have to move to SH. I suppose i can make a list of pros and cons in my next post. But in short, this OTHER company has a very promising line of oncology products, which are in the field that i've always wanted to do. They recently merged with a company based in San Francisco, which means that i dont have to think about having to move back to NJ EVER in my life, if the headquarter isn't even anywhere east of the Missisippi river (okay, i'm being dramatic here). And i have been looking for a change of therapeutic area... But the move...ugh...the move. It's not horrible i guess, i've always pictured it somewhere down the line, given the market situation and that TW is a tiny market which will become a problem if i want to stay here. but i'm really not a fan of moving yet again...by myself. i've done it before. i suppose i could do it again, but....ugh. AND i'm not getting younger. should i be pursuing a potential boost in my professional life? or just stay happy and close to my family and childhood friends and just feel safe for a while. it feels so wrong to want more. and the reason why i wanted a promotion, is because of some poor managment decision in the company, which resulted in two new guys who are completely untrained in my field, to come in and were offered higher positions than i do. so basically, i'm doing all the bit** work and they just came in and took the title (i was the first ginea pig for this newly created department). and i am also expected to train them. i busted my ass for this new job thinking it can really take me somewhere, but instead, i'm the one with the lowest rank here. so of course i savor much bitterness. On the flip side, i like the other co-workers who i work on a daily basis with, they are in my therapeutic area and really trust and rely on my expertise. they are wonderful, amazing people who i am very thankful for. and i am still keeping my ties with the old team in the US because thankfully i'm still with the same products. So if i leave, i would be severing all these ties, and my boss above all, would probably hold grudge toward me. ughh. ok. so that pretty much sums up the situation...until further notice i suppose. I suppose like my parents said, it doesn't hurt to find out more information about the other company. it may not even work out. But i'm such a worry bug that it kept me up all night. Mostly because i wasn't prepared to move so fast. i wish things were easier sometimes... p.s. i realized that i didn't clarify that the recruiter finally told me that he was referred to me by someone who i briefly worked with while on the China team, he's not from our company, but from our alliance company. but he's seen my work before... odd.