So today was just as crazy as yesterday...my life has sorta resorted to the same elements: Great work experience + somewhat sucky fellow Fellows + great roommate + surburbian life in a suburbian community. Other than the sucky fellows, i've pretty much come to enjoy everything else.
Work: Every day is getting more interesting than the previous one because more and more I am realizing the responsibilities i have with my position. More and more it is being mapped out to be through talking to my bosses and my peers. Today I met with a few people who work in clinical trials or on other drugs. And I feel great that they are willing to invite me to meetins where I can gain more exposure about potential areas I want to work in. On top of that, I got to participate in a teleconference which i'm expected to take over next time. It's pretty much talking to the vendor we work with and authors of these papers to make sure that are studies are being published in a timely matter. It's interesting that before I started this job i never put much thought into any of the publications i read. I mean, they are just studies that SOMEONE conducted and SOMEONE put in a journal for us to read. But i'm realizing it more that everything is a business strategy. The kind of studies your company decides to sponsor, the kind of topics they want, the kind of journals they want to get published in, the kind of audiences they want to reach...etc. There's so much being put into consideration before you fully see a study in its entirety (hopefully) in a scientific publication. On top of that, i got to talk on the phone with a few authors to varify their ideas and communicate that with our internal scientific writers so she can put the ideas into words (not all authors pen their own studies). Anyway, LOTS of interesting things happening around here. I try really hard because i want to get as much out of it as I can. and i'm not talking about a job because that's the last thing on my mind (sort of). I WANT to get excited about what we have in the pipeline and meeting all of these senior people in the company and making connections, but somehow a part of me (and i'm assuming that's the part that makes me stay grounded) is that i miss home, whether that's CA or tw.
fellow Fellows: still a mess i really hate to talk about. So i joined them yesterday at the happy hour and today at lunch (they pretty much have lunch everyday together). Tonight some of them are also heading to our local Hooters for some cheap beer and hot wings. And tomorrow we have a birthday lunch for one of the fellows and we also have a bbq and a bowling night lined up. And i'm not counting all the other networking events we do with the fellows from the OTHER companies. so you get an idea of how much people like to hang out with their co-workers. I personally feel that business is business and it's rare that you find true friends in the same industry, but that's my theory. All of my closest friends happen to be doing different things than I am and it's been working out great. When we get together we can talk freely about work and life in the general without worrying that someone might know someone i know. and yet this is turning into a circus with always having to invite the ENTIRE BMS fellowship class in fear of leaving someone out. BUT, if you do attend and do decide to leave early, people think you're a party pooper, BUT, if i do show up and do try to engage others in a conversation i feel that they are getting super east-coast cliquey. so in a way i'm kind of caught in a difficult situation because i'm not making much progress here. I WISH i could jsut meet other local people and forget about this whole being BFFs with your coworkers deal, however this is the reality i have to face everyday. I have slight suspicion that of course this can be attributed to 1) they dont have that many asian friends and feel uncomfortable around me 2) they are losers who don't know how to have a good time other than drinking beer and getting pissed drunk and 3) they are simply jealous. Theory 1 of course isn't completely fair, because there's a couple who seem nice, and from the other companies there are non-asian fellows who i super clique with, and even within BMS, there are MBA inters who i met during socials who are proposing ideas to hang out and get food. So i dont know if it's just these pharm fellows who have traditionally stuck with their own white/indian counterparts and never thought much about people other than their own race. and Theory 2 is because yes, they do go out and drink like every single day. But also the weirdest phenomenon is that, pharmacy people love to stick with each other. So even if everybody goes out and tries to have a good time i see no point getting drunk with the same people every night who you DO NOT want to go out with, and i really doubt that they got game at bars/clubs because (and i can say this) c'mon, we are not the business/social sci people who are blessed in the genetic department. Our guys and girls just like to SOUND like they got game but they dont. imo. Theory 3: i love my position as a fellow but obviously the guys who got the suckier (in my book) fellowships have got nothing to do but basic training. So the fact that i'm already thrown into these important meetings and have a ton of things to do and drive to off-site meetings with our joint-venture company does not please these fellows AT ALL. I would have to miss our lunch a couple days and then when I do show up they question why i was away and when i did explain i get this 'look' on their face. Maybe they dont think i'm good enough, maybe they are just mad that they still sit around at lunch for a full hour every day because they dont have urgent meetings to get to, and I'm already missing some of our fellowship meetings due to meeting conflicts. I don't know which part they are mad about. but honestly, I can care less. I'm sort of at the point where i've had enough of these people who show very little civility towards me since i got here. I know i'm capable of making new friends and i'm outgoing and friendly and not a prick so the problem must lie within them. which goes back to my 2nd theory that you really just CAN'T be friends with your colleagues. acquainances may be, but if your field is really that competitive people can diss you for whatever reason. And i'm starting to feel like they can bond with each other all they want. I didn't move all the way out here to please my fellow workers so much i can't focus on my work. Well that, and if anything i'd rather find a bf before I find a bff out here. so they should be the least of my concerns. ;)
time for bed now!
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