my friend freaked out a few days ago. she was hearing news about a friend she thought she knew well, well, cheated on her partner with someone in our class, who allegedly also has a partner back home. Except this girl who cheated, actually has her partner with her, in Singapore.
Then there's all these other incidences of things that are pretty much truth (the only reason why I did not say 100% because technically seeing is believing, and I wasn't in the bedroom to witness how the whole thing went down. but pretty much people know, or they didn't really try hiding).
- someone I thought I knew well who has a gf back home hooked up with a pretty famous Asian skanky girl, multiple times, and I suspect still ongoing.
- multiple hook ups...not dating, just hooking up (and I really hate this expression)
- girls with bfs and guys with bfs making out at parties/holding hands/dancing intimately
...
list goes on and on.
The trouble with attending a European mba is that, you have to stick true and close to yourself, because if you don't, it's so easy to do something stupid, because people almost WANT you and will LURE you to do something stupid. and anything immoral that happens turns into gossip material and people are no longer fazed by it, which is really sad.
the trouble with being a student again, at the age of 30 as a professional who had a pretty good career is, you have to deal with all the 20 year olds who are still pretty hormonal and stupid in making life decisions, and who are confused as hell about their lives and therefore channel a lot of their energies into finding someone who could be that temporary fix of their problems, and who don't want to settle down. they might be here because they hated their previous jobs, or they are sent on continuous education free-of-charge, which allows them to party even more, even harder, and the women...are just added bonus. everyone is on the look out. they don't really care much to learn about Asian culture, because they don't need to. They are here to party for a couple months. Singapore is a hub for them to go home to. But they hang out with people from the same origin, eat food they are familiar with, party and drink and sleep with local women, life is really good at this point. and they feel that they are entitled to everything and anything, because they are going to the number 2 international mba, so they thin k they are pretty damn smart.
Can there be a worse formula for disaster?
Fortunately..albeit all this...
yes there are days when i think the world is going up in flames when I hear my male classmates talk about visiting orchard tower (a local brothel), that girls in the class are all husband-hunting (so derogatory), cheat on their partners, or think casual sex is okay.
But I am feeling much better/stronger now, although there are still days of hopelessness.
The truth is, i don't want to stop believing. There are still wonderful things in my life. I have family and friends who check in with me periodically to make sure I am not too stressed out, i'm eating well, and i'm feeling okay. I met new friends who share the same values as me, who i can confide to, who makes me feel normal, who i can catch up over drinks and just completely be myself. who i can bitch about the 'popular kids' to.
I choose to believe there's always good vs. evil and that the evilness in the world will not completely consume us, if there are people who are also unyielding, for whatever reasons.
so what 6/10 guys who hit on me have girlfriends. the 2 act like they could be interested and flirty but never actually ask me out on a proper coffee date. and the last 2...well, they are just desperate. they would ask any girl to go on a date.
thank god for the book 'he's just not that into you'. so many great quotes that are life-saving for women. if he doesn't ask you out or makes you guess his intentions, he's just not that into you. one of the pleasures that comes with growing old, is that you stop putting up with the shit people give you.
I miss a lot of people greatly, for they are my strengths in life. i get tired sometimes, but i don't want to stop believing.
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ReplyDeleteI've already told you the world as it is but you didn't buy it. Yes, there are people like you, good vs. evil, but evilness will eventually consume the world just look at human history. People are prone to being corrupted and jaded about crazier things in life. Therefore at the end accept them as the norm. I think by accepting this reality, you'd just move on and don't let it bothers you.
ReplyDeleteBeing a realist isn't about squashing your positivity or some beliefs. You just look at circumstances straight in the eye instead of taking it all personally.
Imagine if you were the last human being in a zombie land, you wouldn't spend time crying about it had you decided not becoming one of them.