Disclaimer: angry posts make me sound bitcher than i actually am. :)
So today is another classic day which totally reminds me of why i really hate any social event limited to only fellows from my company. I can only take it in small doses. another minute spent with them after 1 hr makes me want to hurt myself (or one of them). people are still pretty cliquey, and i really just can't' deal with these 23-yo east-coasters who think they are the hot sh*t just cuz they got in the fellowship program. Everything they say, intentionally or not, sounds childish and extremely douchbaggy. there's this girl who has expressed multiple times that when she interviewed for my position she found out that there is no way she'd want to do this (my job). and today she expressed it again (what a rude thing to say). and it's been 3 months and whenever i go to the social gathers they act really aloof (even my roommate can vouch for that). I've said this before and i'm going to say it again, i suspect that a lot of the animosity/unfriendliness towards me is due to the fact that they are jealous of me and what i get to do on my job. I don't like talking about what i do in front of them because i always get that sour expression (then don't ask!). i'd be missing lunch or their social gathering for a couple days then when i do show up, i'm asked why i have been 'missing in action', and when i said i've been off site in this meeting with another company who we do our joint adventure for our drug with, i get this 'look'. Weekly I am sitting in meetings only 2nd year fellows or senior management get to go to. The medical information fellows (who pretty much sit at the call center all day and write response letters for customers) prolly hate that they can't dip their pen in my ink. It's so much easier for me to plug myself into one of their projects (and i have) jsut so i can put that on my resume. i've also been reaching out to other departments and requesting for projects with regulatory/marketing/clinical operations. I dont think i'm competitive unless i'm challenged/pissed. and that's when i get competitive with the boys. since i dont see them AT ALL as romantic partners it's much easier for me to show them down. I think if anything it gives me more incentive to make them feel worse about their positions and feel scared about what i can become. I already kind of gave them a taste of what i'm capable of during my presentation to the whole group last week (the general comments i got was that i really kicked a** during my presentation in front of the fellowship class and appeared confident). Well, because i really wanted to show my coworkers my capabilities i finished the presentation 3 weeks before the date and consulted multiple people within the company and rehearsed it for 3 nights straight to memorize the slides. So yes, be very scared. if you dont' want to play nice, i won't play nice with you either.
and this anger is only directed toward people who work in my immediate company. some of the other fellows are pretty cool from the other companies, and some of them are of course, still douchy. the ones who are super douchy are generally 1) younger because they did the accelerated program (which is a total unfair lie because there's no way you can decide you want to be a pharmacist in high school and receive a pharmD without going through college. no wonder the doctors don't respect us because the east-coast pharmacy students are like in their 20s and don't know anything about life) and 2) very ignorant because they've never seen much out side of Jersey. they've never seen much of california or anywhere else in the world. and they have WAYYY too much jersey pride considering the ****hole they live in. The NORMAL fellows are usually from out of state and are well-traveled and have seen the world and know that people can be DIFFERENT.
and the ironic thing is: i'm not dying to have the things they have. i dont care about plainsboro and this place filled with bad drivers and little civilization. I'm doing this just so i can get awesome experience to put on my resume and move on to the next thing. my dream job is never to work in pharma. it's to become a travel channel correspondent and share my life with the people who i love and not jealous freaks who are so self-absorbed.
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