窮到想發火之二

I'm sorry that i feel so aweful i had to write a second post to elaborate...but after paying off my credit card bill today i feel pretty darn pissed off again. I now seriously have nothing in my checking..:*(. Originally i wanted to see if by xmas i can save up enough to buy a ticket to go back to Taiwan, and now i feel that i'm even farther from that reality.

And the truth is, i haven't been spending that much. It's these little things in life you pay for that add up to a lot. I dont' even have enough in my account to pay for this month's rent + utility until my next pay check comes in. this is called 'living paycheck to paycheck' for reals. And now i feel somewhat dispair because I can't enjoy a cup of starbucks coffee or eat out at a nice restaurant or go into the City (nyc) without feeling guilty. AND i need to save up enough to buy nice coats/boots for the winter. Judging from the weather, it's already turning a bit chilly at night, it won't be long until i have to set out to the outlet to buy winter clothes. and i have no $. :*(

I am still getting these newsletters from Zappos about their shoes..and i'm looking at these nice boots that will look good with work clothes and are stylish and comfortable enough to dress up or down, and yet i prolly wont' be able to afford them. I have 4 pairs of boots right now, one from Marshalls from clearance of last year, one from forever 21 (super paper thin material), and one ankle boots I got when i was in nyc last january, the last pair, the ONLY pair i can wear to work, is also the only pair i wore to all of my east coast interviews which I got from Nine West outlet several years ago. THAT and i have only one set of suit. I'm looking at these conference i have to go to that are in consecutive days in the winter and i wonder how i'm gonna be able to pull that off wearing the same thing top to bottom every single day.

ok i'm gonna shut up now. the only solution is to wait it out until i make real salary. until then...:(