I just found out all of my lunch buddies are leaving the company in the next month or so. Ugh.
Now that leaves me as the only youngER person i know, looking to blend in with the rest of the people yet again.
Truthfully it doesn't make me super sad, just kind of low. I mean, all the best to them who find better jobs that suit their interest. I would do the same as well. It's easier to be the first ones leaving than e last. So I totally understand. I mean, I have days( more frequently lately) which make me want to leave as well, but I really have to stick it out, for various reasons. I suppose that will go into a separate post, hopefully not three months later...;)
It IS hard being the in between person, between china and tw, tw and the US, and TW and Australia. No one in my direct line of report is in the same geographical location as me and I wonder if that will hurt me somewhere down the line. Socially I can make friends, although I do realize I have to over extend myself to please everybody and to survive in both organizations to stay connected. That takes a lot of effort. And I, also trying to stay in tough with everyone I know. Sometimes I am sad that I get emotionally attached to do many places and ppl and at the same time I feel pretty tired, although I suppose you can also look at it as being being somewhat lucky, as my sister would say, to have so many people as close friends and who I care about. I suppose she's right. It just is tiring bc either I end up leaving or they end up leaving me first. I am realizing that I can't just sign up for a tour anytime I want knowing my best friend is always down to go with me. That best friend(s), is somewhere else now.
Just today I am thinking about this again... Probably bc we just saw my dad's friend from the US over the weekend who badgered me about boyfriends, and probably bc I have been on facebook quite a bit, and I think about 80% of my gf recently uploaded pictures of their weddings /honeymoon, and bc I just recently sae The Hunger Game and the Iron Lady and John Carter which made me think of the strong female characters having a supportive partner. Anyway, now that people who are in their twenties/ early thirties have all officially left the company, I am kind of back to square one again. I suppose that's easier for me to focus. And also bc it's hard to like anyone around your age anyway. In one way or another, they (the guys) always turn out to be somewhat aggressive and connivimg, either withholding information all the time ( as in the case of SJ), or sounding like an immature ass who likes to take the credit for everything who is actually in his mid thirties( as in the case of JC), or not responsive to your email ( as in the case of AA), or someone who tells u flat out he wants your job ( as in the case of TO).... The list goes on and on. Maybe it's me, or maybe the world really is going crazy and girls have had to to become very non threatening ( which I'm not) in order to be 'likeable''. I often think of a line from Conan obrien on his last show as the Tonight Show Host when jay leno finally stole his job :" if you work really hard, and you are kind,amazing things will happen." I want to remember this always so I can walk away from a job when it no longer makes me happy and when I feel like I'm surrounded by douchbags so much that I am almost becoming one of the,. And if I never date these mental guys I will know that it's because I am better because I want someone who is drive. And yet kind and nurturing.
Funny thing is, the 'red thread' I got from the Chinese temple actually brought me unwanted unattention from lots of older men, and I mean, old like my dad's age old. Maybe it's time to ask for a new one...;) kind of creepy bc I consider myself super non-bs and I would like to be really mean to these older men but I can't bc I either work with the, or they are one of our key customers. But I manage to keep them away. Ugh.
I really need to go and sign up for some kind of class out of my personal interest....-_-
